insaneracin2003
12-10-2004, 11:31 AM
The following were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"Take your hands off that car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?!?"
"Warning!? You want just a warning?!? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Yeah, I'll admit it. We do have a ticket quota. Two more and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?!? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"Take your hands off that car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?!?"
"Warning!? You want just a warning?!? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Yeah, I'll admit it. We do have a ticket quota. Two more and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?!? You're right, we don't. Sign here."